Anatomy of a Relationship

Relationships are of multiple types. Some physical relationships involve physical interaction and contact, including touching, embracing, and intimacy. There are emotional relationships which are to do with tenderness, sweetness, kindness, companionship, sensitivity towards the other person’s needs, and helping each other. Mental relationships have to do with sharing ideas, thoughts, perspectives, and the ability to have deep conversations without being bored. Then, one has monetary relationships with people who work with us, such as employees, partners, and suppliers. Finally, there are spiritual relationships that transcend all of these and get into the realm of unconditional love.

Why do we have painful relationships? One way to understand it is through a simple experiment. Put your hands together and rub them vigorously. If you notice, your hands possibly feel warm. It is because of friction. We often experience friction in relationships with those we interact with. Have you ever seen that we don’t argue too often with people we only meet occasionally? Most disagreements usually happen with people we contact frequently – such as friends, family members, relatives, and colleagues.

Moreover, all relationships have a hidden dynamic. This hidden dynamic is energy. We are living in an ocean of energy. Energy is pervasive and affects every facet of our lives, including our relationships. Have you ever observed that some people make you feel positive and nice whenever you meet them, while some make you feel low and upset? This is because all relationships are based on an exchange of energy. Even words, thoughts, and emotions have energy. Hence, whatever you say, think, or feel about a person also tends to affect the other person (and, therefore, the relationship with the other person).

What Causes Strained Relationships?

One of the most fundamental rules of energy, as taught by MCKS, is that “like quality energy attracts like quality energy.” The practical application of this rule is that you tend to be attracted and drawn to people with similar energy. For example, if are a golfer, many of your friends will also be golfers. If you like to booze, then it is likely that you will also have friends who like boozing. If you are drawn towards spirituality, then it is likely that you would have several friends who also feel a spiritual thirst or spiritual yearning. If you are very productive and efficient in the workplace, then you would possibly attract people who are productive and efficient. Ultimately, opposites don’t attract but it is like qualities that attract.

Then what causes a relationship to become strained? As MCKS taught, you will attract people with the same vibration or energy as yours. Likewise, “loving-kindness attracts loving-kindness; anger and hatred attract anger and hatred.” The energy of a loving couple in an intimate relationship blends in a harmonious way, allowing love and good emotions to flow between them easily and freely. Conversely, the energy fields don’t blend and flow when a couple is in a poor relationship, arguing and fighting. They actually clash and repel, manifesting as even more painful frictions.

According to MCKS, one of the major reasons why a marriage tends to break down is because one or both parties tend to use each other as a “psychic garbage can.” This means that if one experiences an extremely stressful day or is emotionally hurt by a third person upon returning home, the normal practice is to consciously or unconsciously dump or release the stress and emotional garbage on the other person. The result is normally a heated exchange of words and, in some cases, physical violence. The effect is eventually a marriage breakdown.

A deeper understanding of this concept enables us to identify what is wrong with a relationship and, more importantly, gain a perspective on what can be done to heal and harmonize a relationship.

Improving a Relationship

There can be friction between any two individuals which can result in a strained relationship. Thankfully, there is a “lubricant” for the friction which can normalize relationships. The lubricant comprises love, tolerance, and forgiveness.

There are a few practical techniques that can be used to harmonize a relationship:

1. Be Realistic: A child will act like a child. You cannot expect a child to behave like an adult. As souls, all of us are in the process of evolving. All of us make mistakes. None of us are perfect. As MCKS says, “Real love makes you see things as they are.” This means that when you truly love someone, you see them as they are. So when they do something that upsets you, you feel compassion for them instead of judging them and feeling hurt and angry.  Moreover, the act of thinking well about someone stimulates or activates your heart chakra, which in turn makes you happier.

2. Blessing: From a spiritual standpoint, it is important to understand that when we project love, love is projected back to us. This follows from the Law of Karma. We have the power to literally harness energy to create positive effects and invoke healing in our relationships. A powerful way to harmonize a strained relationship is through the technology of blessing. The steps involved are as follows:

• Visualize the person who you would like to improve your relationship with in front of you.
• Raise your hands in the blessing position with your palms facing outwards.
• Feel the love in your heart and mentally project the same towards the other person. Bless the person with sweetness, tenderness, inner peace, inner healing, good health, abundance and prosperity, and a better life.
• Visualize brilliant pink and golden light flowing out from your palms and flooding the aura of the person in front of you.

Repeated blessings will result in gradual harmonization of the relationship you have with the other person. If you come across people who are very nasty and troublesome, give them a “double dose” of this loving energy, i.e., spend more time blessing them.

3. Forgiveness: Another important factor in harmonizing a relationship is forgiveness. Forgiveness is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is the right thing to do by releasing the anger and resentment that makes us get boiling inside. Forgiveness is therapeutic. When someone is offended, he or she keeps thinking about the offender and the unhappy experience over and over again, which leaves him or her angry, sad, and often irritated. In fact, resentment is one of the reasons behind many severe physical problems, such as kidney failure. The key to escape from feeling unhappy is, in fact, forgiveness. As MCKS taught, “Do not be unhappy. The past is the past! Let go, learn to ‘Forgive and Forget’. Let Go and Go on Living!” Forgive others not because it is the right thing to do but because it is the smart thing to do.

4. Kind Thoughts and Kind Words: If you keep criticizing someone, you will never be able to repair your relationship with them. On the mental level, people often put the faults and weaknesses of other people under a “microscope” rather than focusing on the positive traits. Also, if you were to criticize someone constantly, there is little chance that the person will improve. To understand this deeper, we urge you to review our article on Thought Forms.

An easy technique is to mentally enhance the other person’s positive qualities, no matter how small. First, silently do an inventory of their positive qualities. Then mentally praise the other person for all the good things you see in them. And finally, physically praise them for their good qualities whenever you get the opportunity. Do this on a regular basis, especially when things are rough. Shower them with good energy and positive feedback. You will notice that the dynamics of the relationship will start to change for the better. The basis around why this technique works is because similar qualities attract. As the teaching by MCKS goes, “Loving-kindness attracts loving-kindness, anger, and hatred attract anger and hatred.” Also, as you consciously generate good thoughts about the person you don’t like, by the Law of Karma, you, in turn, are entitled to receive the same from others.

5. Take an Energetic Shower: In Pranic Healing, it is very important to practice the Meditation On Twin Hearts to energetically heal and create successful and loving relationships. This will help flush out the stress energies one accumulates from a stressful day. This powerful meditation first activates the Heart Chakra that helps you become more understanding towards others. Then the Crown Chakra is activated to experience Soul Oneness. This simple meditation is great for removing anger, stress, and resentment and enhancing the loving nature within you and others around you. If you can meditate together with the people you would like to improve your relationship with, it would be an additional help. This is advised for couples who are facing relationship issues. Co-workers in an organization should also try to meditate in a group to facilitate a better working relationship.

6. Use Pranic Healing: Sometimes, a painful event in the past has been so devastating that we cannot easily forget, or some emotional issues that are affecting our relationships, such as stress, resentment, fear, or low self-esteem, seem to be very difficult to remove. In such cases, Pranic Psychotherapy techniques can be very helpful in removing unwanted feelings or behavior from your system. Pranic Psychotherapy is basically Pranic Healing applied in the treatment of emotional and mental issues. What we call disturbing emotions or thoughts are basically energy forms. In fact, thinking and feeling produce psychic beings called “thought forms” and “thought entities,” which are real and can influence you and others. Unless these thought forms and entities are removed from the system using techniques such as Pranic Psychotherapy, they remain in the person’s chakras and will continue to affect the person and the relationship with others. In this case, Pranic Psychotherapy can be applied to heal multiple people and improve relationships.

Good relationships don’t just happen. You need to work on your relationships. In general, people think if they need to work on their relationships, then it is not the right relationship for them! However, just as we need to work on having good health through physical exercise, proper diet, and proper emotions, a good relationship also requires enough care and nurturing.